Collected Drabbles
by Ceridwen Kalamack
Summary: This is going to be a collection of rabbles I've written over time. It will cover several fandoms. Nothing serious here, and very few will be continued. If you want to continue one,please ask.
1. Beware of Stoners

The night was dark and dreary, as nights in London tended to be, especially in autumn. In a heavily guarded mansion, a paramilitary group was checking over its various weapons. Many of the soldiers were praying, a habit one tended to get into when one worked in an organization such as the Hellsing Institute.

Upstairs, the elite of the organization were gathering for orders. Said elite were made up of one Pip Bernadotte, A butler by the name of Walter C. Dornez, a No Life King (bound) by the name of Alucard, and one Seras Victoria, who was only just arriving.

Speaking of which, her arrival was…off. Seras walked into the room, slightly off kilter. She didn't dare try phasing through the walls in her state.

Noticing his child's predicament, Alucard started to laugh, only to be cut off by a bullet Integra sent his way. He quickly got himself together enough to speak without laughing, "Night has fallen, my Master – what are we doing tonight?"

"The same thing as every night, Alucard – Try to take over the world," she intoned in a solemn tone. Seras blinked. She couldn't possibly ha heard right. " Er, what was that Sir Hellsing? I'm not sure I heard you right."

"I said 'Search and Destroy'" Integra said in an irritated tone. "The same as every night since the beginning of Hellsing Institute. Did I stutter, Miss Victoria?"

"No, Sir Hellsing." Seras said, feeling relieved. As she left, Seras vowed that she would never drink from a stoner again, no matter what her master threatened to do to her!


	2. Turncoat

The end comes with all the din  
of pandemonium  
The guilty wail out their innocence  
The wrathful fight forevermore,

The barrators mired in pitch  
Among these you find me  
Wretched in sin  
Remorseless even in my wretchedness  
Pride bears me up

Even as it weighs me down  
in my eternal punishment  
I stride ever on  
Looking forward to eternity

Voldemort looked up from his reading. Which just happened to be the diary of one Severus Snape. " This is…quite depressing. I'm going to have to insist you see a psychiatrist, Severus."

"What?" Snape sputtered. "A shrink!"

"Yes Severus, a shrink. It's all well and good to be evil- encouraged, even- but this disgusting… emo-ness has got to end. I can't have you bringing down morale. What have you got to be so depressed about anyway? I mean, so the love of your life married your greatest enemy. It's not like you had a shot. And so what if you're still a virgin and likely to die that way. I've seen you naked; you wouldn't be pleasing anyone with that thing anyway." Voldemort returned to reading Snape's diary, grimacing when things turned particularly emotional.

It was at that moment that Severus Snape decided to betray Lord Voldemort. No matter how annoying Dumbledore was (damn those twinkling eyes) at least he didn't make fun of him!


	3. Inanimate

Kakashi growled, "Momochi Zabuza..."

"Kukukuku (The writer would like to know why all evil guys laugh this way…)...Well if it isn't the famous Copy-Cat Nin, Hatake Kakashi." Zabuza chuckled, the eerie laughter rang through the area. He jumped down from the branch, sword in hand.

"What do you want with us?" Kakashi questioned calmly.

"I'm here for the old man. Nothing personal. Hand him over and you and your baby ninja can go". Zabuza somehow managed to project a menacing aura, despite the fact that he had no eyebrows and half his face was covered in bandages. Not to mention the gigantic sword that was obviously compensating for something…

"Sorry to disappoint, but you can't have him."

"Is that your final answer?" (Who knew Zabuza watched Who wants to be a millionaire?) Without waiting for an answer, Zabuza disappeared from sight as the mist grew thicker. "Lungs, Kidney, Heart, Jugular, so many places to aim for...." He laughed a VERY creepy laugh.

Sasuke shuddered and Sakura froze. _'OH MY GOD I'M GONNA DIE! I HAVEN'T EVEN GONE ON A DATE WITH SASUKE EITHER!' _**"NO WAY! WE'RE GONNA LIVE! AND ONE DAY SOON, WE'RE GOING TO TAP THAT ASS! SHANNARO!" **Inner Sakura said mentally. Sakura was now paralyzed not because of fear, but because of lust and fantasies. Zabuza may as well of not existed.

_'What is this feeling? Am I...scared? No, I'm an Uchiha. In order to beat Itachi, I must have no fear!' _Sasuke thought. He knew he was lying to himself though. He was VERY scared. Unbeknownst to him, the fear was not of Zabuza, but of the rising lust coming off of Sakura.

And Naruto…was bored. He had always been bored in school, this was no different. He didn't graduate just to come into the field and be forced to learn! With that thought, Naruto started to get pissed off.

Kakashi readied himself. "Guard Tazuna and stay back, this is my fight." The rest of Team 7 nodded. . He couldn't ponder the thought long though.

Suddenly, Zabuza struck. His blade was right about to slash Tazuna into pieces when Kakashi blocked it with a kunai. The two opponents jumped into the air, weapons clashing. Kakashi found an opening and sliced Zabuza's torso, only to find that it was a water clone.

_'Where is the real one?' _Kakashi thought as he landed on the ground. _'Below? I don't think so. Left? No. Right? No? Above? Damn it, where is he?'_

"KAKASHI-SENSEI! _LOOK OUT!" _Kakashi was warned just in time to block the huge sword with his wrist guard, spraining his wrist dnd crashing into the water

**"Suiton: Suiruo no Jutsu!" **Out of Zabuza's hand shot a large sphere of water, trapping Kakashi inside. With his other hand he made 3 water clones.

"Run! You can't defeat him. He's out of your league!" Kakashi shouted. Inwardly he was crying for his wrist. That was his free hand! The one he used when he was reading Icha Icha! How could he get relief now?

Rather than run, Naruto decides to fight back. Not for Kakashi, but for his poor brain_. That bandaged freak forced him to learn something new. What good was knowing the vital points? If only the teme will play along for a change…_

He shuffled closer to Sasuke and told him his plan. Sasuke snorted, but agreed. "If you actually think you can pull this off dobe, why not?" _They always told them that changing into inanimate objects was impossible in the academy, but if the dobe wanted to try, who was he to stop him?_ Sasuke smirked at the thought.

Zabuza looked up from taunting Kakashi (who was not listening but silently mourning his fapping wrist) as one giant pinwheel shuriken flew by, then another. He released Kakashi in surprise, and then went through a jutsu battle, which he lost. The battle ended with Zabuza spontaneously sprouting 2 senbon from his neck and collapsing.

A hunter-nin appeared. "Thank you for taking care of him. I have been hunting him for some time. Please accept the mist's thanks for your assistance. The hunter nin quickly gathered Zabuza's prone body and ran away.

The rest of Team 7 observed the spectacle from afar. Kakashi stood up only to fall down again, unconcious.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura shouted in worry, running over. Sasuke, and Tazuna followed her. "Bring him to my house", Tazuna said. "He can heal there."

"By the way, where id the orange midget go? You did something and now he's gone."

Sasuke walked over to where the 2 shuriken feel and picked them up. " Oh, he's around. Don't worry about it for now." Tazuna and Sakura accepted Sasuke's words, each for different reasons.

The next day, Kakashi woke up. Where's Naruto?

Sasuke explained "Naruto told me to throw two shuriken at Zabuza. One would be him in henge. He would change back and distract Zabuza to set you free."

Sakura and Kakashi stared at Sasuke in horror.

"What?" He said defensively.

"You killed Naruto! Humans can't transform into inanimate objects! How would you be able to think to change back. Objects have no mind or chakra! That's why they tell you it isn't possible in the academy!" Sakura stared at the pinwheel shuriken at Sasuke's side in pity as Kakashi explained.

Sasuke looked at the Naruto-shuriken with new understanding "At least he's quieter this way."

Author's Note: Being able to change into an inanimate object and back always bothered me.


	4. Purification

It was a sunny day. Many days in Nerima were that. Sunny (not counting the usual freak rainstorm, of course). And as on all days, sunny or not, she went through her morning routine. She prepared for the moment when the cursed one would pass through her area of influence as it always did. Always would. The cursed individual couldn't help it. The process, once started, could not be stopped. The evil within him compelled the victim to arrive at just the right time. And she would carry out her duty.

She filled her bucket with the sacred waters, the last task on her list of preparations and carried the full bucket to the front.

The birds sang. The neighborhood bustled with renewed energy, waking after a long, rainy night. It was almost time. The cursed one would return and be cleansed. Eventually, they would be purified. Long years of work had gone into this, but soon her hard work would be rewarded. Even though the curse sought to thwart her efforts by blocking, negating, even redirecting her energy, it was all coming to a head now.

She prepared her ladle, poised for maximum effectiveness. Any moment now…

There! The curse one approached! She reacted quickly, filling her ladle and through the water in a perfect arc, streaming towards her target.

Her heart sunk. Once again, the curse took hold of her target, redirecting the purifying waters towards another target. Not that the other individual did not need purifying as well but…

She turned towards her home, and made for the shrine. She would beg forgiveness and return again in the morning to try again.

One day, one day soon, she would cleanse Akane Tendo of her family's curse, as she had the girl's sisters. And then maybe she would take care of that nice Saotome boy too.


End file.
